"Things Crack Heads Say"
So you thought your crack head was different!
Click here to submit a phrase to "Things Crack Heads Say". Please punctuate like the others below or it will not be posted. Thanks you.
“I’m really hungry and I only have an eighth a tank of gas. I need to borrow $20 bucks so I can look for a job tomorrow.”
"I thought you loved me..."
"You are not helping right now"
"Why do we have fight all the time?"
"Can I have $200 to put my stuff in storage before I turn myself in for jail ?"
''NOW THAT YOU BUSTED ME, LET ME TAKE THE LAST HIT AND I'LL GO TOO SLEEP !''
"If you dont give me the money they are gonna kill me/beat me up"
"If you dont give me the money he gonna come in here and just take whatever he wants and he is a real big man"
"I need $$$ !! You dont understand. This is a life or death situation"
"I am really trying to quit"
"I dont go looking for it. People be giving it to me for free"
"Ive been doing this for 15 years so I'm used to it. It doesnt even have an effect on me anymore"
"I can handle it...Its not like I have to do it everday"
"You are not strong enough to handle my addiction"
"I lied because I love you"
“I just got high and wanted to shave off all my pubic hair – but it doesn’t mean anything.”
“I know eventually I’m going to end up killing someone to get the money if you don’t help me.”
" I didn't want to tell you the truth because I know you wouldn't like it"
"I am not hurting you. I am only hurting myself."
"You can drug test me anytime you want."
"Nothing happened with this crack whore,I just gave her a
line,we got high together,that's all... I told you that I hung
around these people before"
"I know I'm an asshole and in the wrong,but I've done it for
the last time"
"Don't forget,I'm the one that told you about it so don't be
getting mad at me"
"You're flying off the handle and blowing things out of
"I'm not a scumbag like the rest of them"
"I'm sorry about lying to you all the time,I feel like shit"
"I look great at 98 lbs!"
"What do you mean to skinny! I look great."
"I know that I lost a lot of weight. I have no money for food, so can I get $20.00 for some groceries."
"You have everything, the house, the car, the kids. All I want is the tax refund money to get back on my feet."
"They fired me for only being 3 minutes late."
"I can float a check till friday."
"That ring (bracelet, necklace, jewlery box) was mine when she dies anyway."
"I should of wrote that check for $100.00 not just $50.00."
"It was a gift from my parents to you anyway!"
" i can't sleep mom. i'm just so stressed out"
"I love you mommy"
"There is something wrong with my cell
"I left my cell phone in car while I was at the mall."
"I was sleeping [for two days] and didn't hear my cell phone ringing. I think it's stuck on vibrate."
"I was at the bank [post office/any other errand for work] and my cell phone doesn't get a signal there."
"I have no food in the house, so I was at the grocery store and I left my cell phone in the car."
"I have really bad allergies."
"I'm having problems sleeping at night."
"You'd look like hell too if you hadn't had a good night's sleep in over six months."
"It's a more sophisticated culture that you wouldn't understand. People regularly have business dinners at strip clubs."
"My paycheck hadn't cleared so I took a $400 ATM withdrawal from my work account so I could buy groceries."
"It's not embezzling. It's a loan."
"They owe me a bonus anyway, so I bought a plasma tv with the money."
"I'll pay it back."
"If I don't consider it stealing, then it isn't wrong."
"I know you've hired someone to spy on me."
"I never cheated on you."
"I didn't have sex with her. She's trailer trash. We're just friends."
"I don't know who's telling you this stuff, but she's married and we're just friends."
"She wasn't a hooker."
"She's not a prostitute."
"I've never had anyone spend the night."
"You took my family away from me and I'm lonely by myself. What do you expect me to do all night?"
"I want to go into rehab, but I would lose my job."
"I stopped going to rehab because it was so expensive and it wasn't working."
"I tell everyone exactly what they want to hear and I lie to everyone so they get off my back."
"I LOVE YOU AND I NEVER THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD CALL ME A CRACKHEAD. I'M NOT A CRACKHEAD, I HAVE MONEY IN MY POCKET!"
“I want to call you so bad but I know that you will just argue and I don’t want to argue with you”
“You dirty pig” (after saying no to giving him $80 for crack)
“I love you and miss you so much but I have to deal with this.”
“Of course I think about you constantly”
“Just give me the $40 and I will have that cheque coming in on Friday. I’ll give you half of it!”
“I’ll call you back in 10 min.” (calls back 24 hours later)
“I left my cell phone in the car.”
“I can’t do this to you anymore. But this is my lifestyle. It’s all I know.”
“I need $100 for my son to get circumcised.”
“You know where I am and what I am doing. No girls!”
“Tomorrow I am coming home. Come pick me up” (said that 10 days ago)
“Wednesday I will be back home.”
“This is the last time. I swear. I am done with this stuff.”
“I can’t wait to start that job tomorrow.”
“Just one. I am only going to do one.”
"It's a disease. If I had cancer, would you divorce me?"
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” (The “right” time never does come)
“I’ll do____(insert chore)_____ tomorrow” (Tomorrow never comes)
"One hit is to many... 1000 is never enough."
"I owe this guy some money, so as soon as I pay him I will be right back home."
"What if I never touch it again, would you see me?"
“I decided to get up and go into work early.”
“Hey honey, I’m almost home but I’m going to stop and get our son a milkshake first.”
“I just had a stomach ache.” Or “I was jerking off.” (when he literally stayed in the bathroom for 6 hours straight)
“That loser must have left that pipe in the bathroom when he stopped by the other day.”
“I really don’t enjoy it when I do it, all I think about is you and our son, and all I do is cry.”
“I will never do it again, I swear, if I do I HAVE to go to rehab.”
“ I don’t know how the tire got flattened.”
“I don’t know WHO that is calling me.”
“I’ll pay the mortgage and all of the bills but I’m moving back in.”
“One time I stole $10,000 from my parents safe.”
“One time I stole my roommate’s money and drugs and called a limo to pick me up from his house.”
“I started smoking while you were pregnant.”
"Someone stole both of our cars. Hey, do you think your dad will set me up in
business again so we can afford to buy a car?"
"I'm not going to die."
(And then he does.) "How could you throw away our beautiful love?"
"How could you throw away our beautiful love?"
"I know I stole your ATM card, but I am not a criminal."
“I’m trying to quit but it is hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do…”
"My life is in such a disarray, I was trying to fix it."
"I am sorry for all the pain I have caused you but you know you were the one that -----
"I am going to get high one more time, then i am going to rehab."
"I haven't used in weeks."
"I am not going back, I am getting too old for this."
" I needed one more run."
"She's a crack whore,I was just paying her a compliment."
"I'm at Wal-Mart"
"I am going to get high one more time, then i am going to rehab".
"THIS A HOBBY NOT A HABIT " I SMOKE CRACK CAUSE I WANNA ENJOY EATING YOUR P***Y!
"I decided to take the midnight shift and didn't want to call you to tell you because I knew you were sleeping."
"I am not getting any of my tips from work because the drawer keeps coming up short" (everyday)
I'm going to get a coffee with my "buddy".
“When I’m really depressed I get mean. I keep myself away from the people I love when I’m like this so I won’t say anything to hurt them.”
"I'm watching the Christian channel right now."
"I only get high when/after I've been drinking."
"I left my cell phone at work, that's why I didn't call you back."
“It’s not mine. It’s someone else’s. What did you do with it?”
"I am using cocaine to wean myself off the crack!! You just do not understand!"
"That's all in the past now; I realized I could either have you or drugs, and I love you too much to lose you"
"Son-in-law told me that he didn't hit my daughter, she actually ran into his fist!!"
love you and need you, you are the best woman I could ever have asked for,but I
have to be with (CW) she understands me!" "I wasn't high; you guys make me nervous as hell so I act like that." “I'm just testing it
for someone” "I dropped my phone in the toilet, so I couldn't call you
happened to our marriage vow “For Better
Or Worse” – this is the worse and you
want a divorce!!!" "When you say crack it sounds so bad, that's why
I call it coke".
“I don’t know
where your dress is, I think someone broke in and stole it”
police!!!! Somebody broke in here and stole all our DVD’s”
“ Baby, I swear I
didn’t pawn your car, I don’t smoke crack only weed” "I don't say anything to you about all that
weight you have gained." "IT
WAS ON MY MIND SO MUCH ….I COULD TASTE IT." "I didn't have any minutes left on my cell
phone, so I couldn't call you." "I'm really tired of living like this but I need to just
party one more night" "Get this straight: I am a crack addict.
But I am not a crack head. Believe it or not, there is a
difference." "I want to stay married and grow old with
you." ‘Hey, you are not going to believe this. My cell phone
got stolen off of my motorcycle. I called my cell from a payphone and some
guy told me that if I give him $20 he will give it back to me.” "I'm on my way."
“I don’t want to be in rehab over the
holidays.” "I'm not actually an addict because I
don't jones for it. It's just that if someone puts it in front of me I can't say
"I am not a CRACK ADDICT" I use cocaine, it is the same thing. Stop calling it crack, it's cocaine."
"I wasn't high; you guys make me nervous as hell so I act like that."
“I'm just testing it for someone”
"I dropped my phone in the toilet, so I couldn't call you back."
"Whatever happened to our marriage vow “For Better Or Worse” – this is the worse and you want a divorce!!!"
"When you say crack it sounds so bad, that's why I call it coke".
“I don’t know where your dress is, I think someone broke in and stole it”
“Call the police!!!! Somebody broke in here and stole all our DVD’s”
“ Baby, I swear I didn’t pawn your car, I don’t smoke crack only weed”
"I don't say anything to you about all that weight you have gained."
"IT WAS ON MY MIND SO MUCH ….I COULD TASTE IT."
"I didn't have any minutes left on my cell phone, so I couldn't call you."
"I'm really tired of living like this but I need to just party one more night"
"Get this straight: I am a crack addict. But I am not a crack head. Believe it or not, there is a difference."
"I want to stay married and grow old with you."
‘Hey, you are not going to believe this. My cell phone got stolen off of my motorcycle. I called my cell from a payphone and some guy told me that if I give him $20 he will give it back to me.”
"I'm on my way."
“I don’t want to be in rehab over the holidays.”
"I'm not actually an addict because I don't jones for it. It's just that if someone puts it in front of me I can't say no."
"I cashed my check at the bank and some guy came up with a gun and robbed me."
“I only use it once a month.”
"I'll be right back I promise."
“I didn't want too. I started entertaining the thought and it grabbed hold of me.”
"Please, just give me one more chance."
"Well you knew I was an addict when you met me." (Because I was friends with his sister and she told me before she introduced us.)
"Why don't you just trust me this time, I just want to hang out with my friends and I won't do any drugs, I promise!"
"Please come and bring me the money so I can pay this guy I owe and come home and be with you."
"I'll never go anywhere without you again!"
“I've been an asshole.”
“That is over and done with.”
“I don't know what I'm supposed to do.”
“I didn't call because all you do is talk about my faults.”
“I don't have sex with the women. We just got high together.”
"I wish there was a pill I could take to make this go away."
"It’s really just like a chocolate craving."
"It's not a physical addiction."
"I just have to go there one more time, just to say good-bye to my friends."
"I can't promise you I won't do it again. I don't want to lie to you.""I cant help it,it calls me......."
“I know I have a problem, but if I go into rehab it will be on my record.”
"So what if I lied? I wouldn't get upset if YOU lied to ME."
"I get such a rush out of controlling other people's minds, I am so much smarter than everyone else, and I can control anyone's mind" (said during a crack binge)
"I just went to the doctor to have a check up and he found a tumor. I have 6-12 months to live".
"I am not strong enough to quit"
" I still pay the bills don't I?"
"It's fine if you're snorting it, it's when you put a flame to it that it gets out of control."
"I could quit, but no one will help me (after everyone is exhausted from trying to help and getting let down again) . "
"I swear I am not doing anything wrong ."
"I have missed too much of my kids life, I promise I am not going to do anything again."
"I don't want to go back to jail, I am not going to do anything again."
"I swear I am clean, why can't I see the kids?"
"You don't trust me with my own children?"
"I have to smoke crack to live with you."
"I only did it once this week."
"I didn't hit you, if I hit you I would have broken your jaw."
“I don’t buy it; they call me to see if I can hook them up. So, I go pick it up for them.”
"No one else is ever going to want to be with you."
"And what about all the money you spend on shopping?"
" Don't worry about where I was, but I can promise you I am not doing anything wrong. "
"Leave me alone! ""It's over ! I found someone who won't condemn me." "Who can get along with my friends,"
"See, this doesn't help. You wonder why I turn to
drugs. It's your constant bitching."
"I am a crack addict because you don't trust me!"
"If you give me more freedom I can quit!"
"You need to just trust me more" (after being lied to everyday since we met)
"Before I met YOU I was just a recreational user"
"I should be allowed to go out anywhere I want. You want to go out? I don't think so!"
"The reason why I did crack was because you let my laundry pile up for a week now!"
"Can you look for another job for me? I know you're at work, but I'm tired here at home..."
"I smoked my entire $2000 last month and I owe for retribution or I go to jail. Can you lend me some money?"
"Did you call the cops on me? Cause an entire SWAT team is outside my window!" (there was no one out
"Why don't you trust me? I've never cheated! I know I told you I cheated but I made it up!"
“I hate to ask you this (after picking him up from a crack house begging him to come home ) just let me borrow $10.00 I will get one more hit and I will never use again!!!”
"I do it to help me sleep."
"I love you madly, however I am a very unhappy person."
"Don't piss me off."
'I swear on my daughters life, I did not <cheat, use, steal>.'
"At least I can say one thing, that I never cheated on you."
'I don't smoke crack; I shoot coke. Get it straight!'
"So I made a MISTAKE!!! Like you've never made any in
your life Miss Perfect"
(after being caught using drugs w/ the children in the house)
"I want you to have my babies."
"I don’t know where my cell phone is. It must have fallen out of my pocket."
"You don't believe me? Then why don't YOU tell ME where I was,
"You always hold on to the past, You never just let it go"
"I don't have a retirement fund or savings account because all my money goes to pay child support and/or alimony."
"I'm just a recreational user."
"I didn't tell you about my crack problem so you could throw it in my face."
"You would be such a great step mom to my kids."
"Why are you always throwing my past in my face (sob)?"
"Your always assuming, and I hate that."
"If I lived with you I would not use."
"Since you kicked me out, I'm going to find a female roommate. I don't like coming home to an empty house."
"I work a physical job. That's why I'm sleeping all the time."
"I don't know where the car titles are. I hope they didn't get thrown away."
"Every time we get too serious, it seems
like things start falling apart."
(Every time the relationship got serious, you went to the crack house!)
"Hey, hey, baby girl…..Don't do me like this!"
"Who's your daddy?"
"I've always been a hard worker." (5 jobs in 2 years)
"Things are looking up. I worked three days this week."
"Don't be giving away the family secrets."
"Where was my truck towed? You just cost me a $5,000 job!"
"Where's the generator (among other tools)? Earl wanted to borrow them."
"My ladder blew off the top of the truck, into the river, and was swept downstream with the current."
"I know we just filled the van up, but the gas gauge must be broke. We are empty again (three times a week." 18 gallons of gas each)
"I broke (insert daughters name here) aquarium, I have to run to Wal-Mart and get a new tank or all the fish will die."(at 11 at night-while I'm at work)
"I don't know who walked into your bedroom after you went to sleep and stole the last $40.00 for groceries out of the wallet, hidden in the top of the closet under the winter sweaters."
IF THE PHONE RINGS:
"I'm in the bathroom."
"I'm taking a shower."
“Dad, I picked this stray cat up to ride along with me to keep e company in the semi, I stopped, and he must have gotten out, I drove 300 miles, it was freezing cold out, 0%, something told me to stop, well I did and that cat had rode on the fuel tank for 300 miles, I couldn’t believe it”
"It took you being so close to dying to make me realize that I have to quit. I am DONE with that stuff." (One day later, out smoking CRACK)
"I was hanging out at a friends and fell asleep."
"My stomach is upset. I think I have diarrhea."
"I can't tell you where I am, but DON'T WORRY I'm in a safe place ... and going to meetings!"
"I was kidnapped by a drug dealer and I had to pay him $3,000 to let me go or he said he would kill me." (Gone for 6 days)
”I take my sobriety very seriously (sobbing)!!! It hurts me so much for you to accuse me of using THAT again!!!”
“Why are you so obsessed with this cocaine thing? I don’t do that!”
“We need to build trust. Why don’t I take that $100 bill, go get Taco Bell, and bring you the change?”
“The bus didn’t come for five hours.”
“Brillo pads work better WITHOUT soap, THAT’s why I bought them.”
“Kelly is a HEROIN addict. We have a good recovery relationship because we don’t like the same thing.”
“I’ve got sixty days clean and sober today! Can you give me money to go shopping?”
“I wish I were dead!!!”
“I would NEVER ask our son to pee in a cup! What kind of mother do you think I am?”
“I can’t find my engagement ring. YOU STOLE IT!”
“Remember that $500 you hid in the ceiling after 9/11, and lost? I want to find it to repair our relationship.”
“Why can’t you just TRUST me???”
"If this is the way we're gonna live, I might as well go smoke crack"
"You have to have everything your way, Mr. Control"
"tell me what a loser I am"
"tell me whats the difference between crack and alcohol abuse?"
"my love for you is real"
"I loved you from day one"
"crack addicts are filthy people, I'm not like that"
"I like being my myself when I smoke crack"
"Not everybody is horney when they smoke crack, not me"
"I'll go on welfare before I take a minimum pay job"
"You're bogue, you didn't even bother to call to see if I was OK " (after being gone all night)
"My cell phone was on vibrate in my purse, I didn't hear you call"
"I left my cell phone in the car and went into a bar with friends?
"I had my cell phone shut off, the battery was almost dead"
"I got drunk in a bar and passed out in my car in the parking lot"
"I know I'm an addict, Why are you being so mean to me telling me that?"
"I will always love you, no matter what happens between us"
"Why are you trying to change me? I don't do that to you"
"I wanted to get caught (after getting arrested) I need help"
"I can't do this alone"
"I can't do this without you"
"I love you."
"I can't live without you."
"You are the best person in the world."
"I will kill myself if I can't be with you."
"Your are the only one who can help me."
"I can only quit if you help me."
"No one understands me but you."
"If you leave me I will go use."
"There is no point in quitting if you leave me."
"My life will get better if you help."
"I have no place to go! You can't throw me out on the street!"
"I was doing good, but if you aren't gonna come back to me I might as well get high."
"I promise, I will go to detox........tomorrow."
"I know when and how I'm gonna quit."
"How can you be so cruel? I am human after all."
"You can't have sex when you are high."
"Are you crazy? I would never have sex with another man."
"I didn't touch her. We were just getting high."
"She's just a friend that needed help."
"If you would have been with me I know I would not have used."
"You just can't throw away X years."
"Don't worry, I have a great job lined up."
"You can't make me leave. My name is on the lease."
"What about the wedding vows."
"I would never do this to you. I would be there for you."
"You are cruel and mean to (a) throw me out."
(b)not allow me to be around the kids
(c)not give me money
(d)not take me back
(e)not give me another chance
(f)not feed me, I have no money
"This time it will be different."
"How could you possible think that I would steal money from the kids."
"No, I haven't seen the kid's Christmas presents."
"No, I haven't seen the kid's piggy bank."
"The cameras are at work, baby. I just keep forgetting to bring them home."
"No I haven't seen your debit card."
"No, I haven't seen your checkbook."
"I lost my wallet and had the cash from my paycheck in it. How stupid of me." (three times)
"I don't know how those charges for the porno Web sites got on your credit card."
"It's not my fault, I'm an addict."
"They shorted me on my check again."
"I just need the debit card to get gas. I'll be back in 15 minutes."
"Honey, I have no idea where you put your wedding ring. How would I know?"
"The car? Oh, it broke down and I have a friend fixing it."
"I must have been out of cell range because I never got any of your calls."
"This is an addiction, a medical problem, it's not a choice."
"It could have been much worse."
"Don't hold the place I live over my head."
"You and my son are the only things I have holding me to the real world."
"Don't leave me."
"I can't talk about that now."
"I have never fondled prostitutes. At least I don't have that on my conscience."
"You're my only hope for a normal life."
"I lost my cell phone (watch) ."
"I know I lied, but I was only trying to shield you from unnecessary pain."
"Let's talk about it tomorrow."
"You sound like my ex-girlfriend."
"You sound like my parents."
"You sound like my ex-wife."
"I just needed to use the bathroom.....again."
"I hate it when people go around accusing innocent people of being drug addicts."
"I'm not like the rest of those addicts."
"I'm better than the rest of those addicts. I took some college night classes."
"I'll call AA tomorrow."
"I couldn't stay in rehab. I missed you too much."
"I can fight this on my own."
"I think about you all the time."
"Even when I'm using, all I think about is you."
"I didn't access the porn site with the virus. You must have got it in an email."
"What do I need porn for? There are plenty of whores on the streets if that's what I want."
"If you accuse me of smoking crack, I might as well go and do it."
"They need to appreciate me if they want me to show up at work."
"Don't make me feel worse by reminding me I've blown all the money."
"I can't remember if I smoked crack last night."
"She's just a friend."
"That lie is now history."
"But that was in the past".
"I didn't want to give you all the bad news at once, so I just told you some of it so you wouldn't be upset."
"You have a serious problem trusting me."
"They must have messed up my direct deposit. And, NO, they didn't issue me a check."
"This is the LAST time."
"Well at least I didn't pay for it."
"Don't you think I feel bad enough already? I've been in the grossest places in the world with the scummiest people alive! Don't make me feel worse than I already do."
"Are we out of CHOREBOYS?"
"Are we out of baking soda?"
"What happened to all the lighters?"
"Don't we have any more metal hangars?"
"Just one more twenty."
"Please don't be mad."
"Don't hate me. I already hate myself enough."
"I don't know how you got Chlamydia. I swear, I've never had sex with anyone but you."
"If you leave me, I'll kill myself."
"I owe some dealers $200. If I don't pay them tonight, they're gonna kill me."
"I'm gonna commit suicide."
"I'm sick. I need $60 to get a prescription filled."
"If you don't give me money to get my car back, I won't make it to work and I will lose my job."
"I was numb from the neck down."
"Therapy won't do me any good. I've already heard the same stuff a thousand times."
"This is MY recovery/journey, I need to do this MY way."
"I know I missed my probation meeting. I'll go down there tomorrow."
"I know I missed my court date. I'll go down there tomorrow."
"I know there's a warrant for my arrest. I'll go down there tomorrow."
"I was going to get insurance but I was waiting til I got my license."
"It's a friend's car. I borrowed it for a couple of days."
"It's all your fault."
"You drove me to use."
"I keep wooden matches in the bathroom to deodorize after a BM."
"You're just a control freak."
"I will take a DRUG TEST anytime and PROVE to you I’m not using drugs!!"
"I’m on my way home right now."
"I’m 2 blocks away."
"You always bring up the past and throw it in my face."
"There’s no excuse for my behavior."
"I was sleeping."
"I never left the apartment - I was having a nervous breakdown."
"Why are you sleeping with your purse, wallet, keys? I can’t believe you think * I* would steal them!"
"My jewelry?" "Oh, I'm having it cleaned."
"I still can't believe you just left me to die."
"I was reading my bible when they picked me up."
"How can you say you are so spiritual and then turn your back on me?"
"If I was with that other woman, she would not turn her back on me. She would bail me out."
"How can you believe them and not me? They
"I know I'm a piece of ***t you don't have
to remind me. I tell myself everyday."
"I'll do anything you say to make this better, anything... I'll set up counseling in the morning."
"But, I didn't pay for it. It was free"
"I'm scum and I deserve to die. Without you, I'd have been dead already."
"You can hit me if you want. I deserve it."
"It's not about you. I'm sick."
"WHAT??? I thought we were starting over. YOU promised to trust me."
"Taking care of yourself...HA...You turned your back on me!!"
"Why are you turning everyone against me?"
"I don't need to work a program. This isn't a problem."
"I got a new job, I start next week."
"I can do this on my own...Do you have a place I can crash?"
"I still can't believe you just left me to die"
"I was held at gun point on the street by
two men while they stole my money,"
"I made sure I burned my bridges with my dealer. I stole his crack to make sure that will be the last time I will ever use."
"Can I borrow money for pot so that I don't go smoke crack. If I don't have weed I will go smoke crack."
"Will you call my work and tell them I am sick."
"I was on my way to your house and an old dealer held me at gun point so I had to go with him and I had to pay him."
"I lost the company cell phone."
"I used cuz everyone hates what I have done."
"I don't like how you handle your kids so I had to leave."
"I am angry and had to leave cuz I can't handle how men love to talk to you."
"Using crack stopped my
cravings for alcohol.." "I could be dead if it hadn't
been for crack."
don't trust you anymore you got me and my friend
"Can I borrow your car to go Christmas shopping?"
"Pot takes the edge off."
"My friend’s mom had a heart attack at midnight & I had to take them to the hospital. That’s where I’ve been all night & day." (with black smears adorning his white t-shirt).
"I couldn’t make work, so I told them my mom had a diabetic seizure."
"You should really take the detective test, you’d get a job so fast!!"
"I don’t know how you’ve stuck by me through all of this."
"All you think about is money"
"I was just giving her a ride."
"Someone jumped me and stole my keys and then stole my car. I’ll call the police tomorrow to report it."
"My car broke down, but I know a guy that can fix it for me. . . .just need $200."
"I’m paying my child support directly to my ex wife. I pay her cash so, NO, I don’t have any proof."
"I was in an accident and it turned out the truck was stolen, so I had to pay for the repairs!"
"I never left the apartment - I was having a nervous breakdown."
"I’m on my way home right now."
"I’m 2 blocks away."
"You always bring up the past and throw it in my face."
"There’s no excuse for my behavior."
"I was sleeping."
"I will take a DRUG TEST anytime and PROVE to you I’m not using drugs!! " (until you actually buy one, then they a make a million excuses not to take it)
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